Sometimes you have to do what you have to do

I'm a horrible person and I'm probably going to Hell but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.  


There's this person in the office where I work who apparently doesn't have enough to do. He flits from door to door and desk to desk talking to anyone who happens to make random eye contact.  Not necessarily full eye contact either . . . once could be looking in his general direction and that would be enough to invite conversation.  I'm not talking once in a while that he does this . . . but every day several times a day.




Sometimes I get tangled in his talkative web and it might not be that bad if the conversations contained even the slenderest thread of coherent of thought process.  But it's usually random weirdness that doesn't have much to do with much of anything that is relevant.


And sometimes it seems as though he's speaking some Khoisan language as he walks by and starts making a weird clicking sound with his mouth and punctuates this with knuckle tapping on the partition of my cubicle.


Today he stopped at my cubicle with a couple clicks and knocks and with a great intake of breath began babbling a stream of nonsense.  I listened politely for as long as I could tolerate it without blood leaking out of my ears or my head exploding.  


Then as if my telephone suddenly began to ring (which it didn't) I lifted one finger in a hold-on-a-sec gesture, picked up the handset of my phone and began a non-existent conversation with no one.  He walked away and instant relief ensued.


You might say to yourself . . . how would I get away with such a ruse?  The man is clueless . . . what can I say.


I'm totally going to Hell.

Breakfast Galette

Crust:

1 1/4 CupAll-Purpose Flour

1/2 TeaspoonKosher Salt

1 Stick UnsaltedButter, Cubed and Cold

1/4 Cup Water, IceCold

Toppings:

3 TablespoonsRicotta Cheese

1/4 CupMozzarella, Shredded

2 Slices Bacon,Cooked and Cubed

1 Slice Ham, Cubed

3 Large Egg Yolks

Salt And Pepper

In a medium bowl,mix together all-purpose flour and salt. Place flour and unsalted butter infreezer for 5 minutes to chill.

Combine flourmixture and butter. Mix until you’re left with what resembles coarse meal, withpea size pieces of butter. Add ice water 1 Tbsp at a time, mixing until it justbegins to clump together. If you pinch some of the crumbly dough and it holdstogether, it’s ready. If the dough doesn’t hold together, add a little morewater and mix again.

Remove dough frombowl and place in a mound on a clean surface. Gently shape into a discs, beingsure to not over-knead. Wrap the disc in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least1 hour, and up to 2 days.

Preheat oven to375 degrees. On a floured surface, roll dough to a 10-inch circle with a1/4-inch thickness. It’s okay if the edges are shaggy and it’s not a perfectcircle. Transfer to a parchment-lined baking sheet.

Scoop ricotta ontothe center of the dough, spreading out to make a large circle, stopping 1-inchfrom the edge of the dough. Sprinkle on grated mozzarella cheese. Fold edges ofdough over the cheese. Transfer baking sheet to the refrigerator for 15minutes.

Whisk togetheryolk and water. Brush dough with the egg wash. Bake until crust is lightlygolden brown, 25-30 minutes. Take galette out of the oven and gently placeyolks atop cheese. Arrange bacon bits and ham to your liking and place back inoven for 2-3 minutes, or until yolks set.

Garnish with saltand pepper.

The ultimate reason is "because."

I know I'm kinda of weird, but I think those stick family stickers that people are putting on the backs of their cars are really kind of cute.  Of course, I don't have any on my car . . . cuz, I don't want people to think I'm weird.  It's quite a paradox.



They're kind of fun . . . they come in all kinds of varieties that represent the families personalities . . . I especially like the zombie ones . . . too funny!


Braaaainnzzzzzz!




Of course, another good one is the divorced family . . . 






And the crazy cat lady one is a hoot, as well.










Then there's the one for people who don't give a sh!t about your family . . . stick figure or otherwise.


Yeah, I know, I got nothin' . . . not even a stick figure family to stick on my car . . . but hey, my blog can't be awesome every day!  

Bacon and Cheese Omelet

3 Slices Bacon, Cooked

3 Large Eggs,Lightly Beaten

1/4 Teaspoon Salt

1/4 TeaspoonGround Black Pepper

1 TablespoonButter

1/2 SlicesAmerican Cheese

In a small bowl,combine eggs, salt, and pepper; beat with fork. In a 10 inch nonstick skillet,melt butter over medium heat, rotating pan to coat bottom. Add egg mixture. Coverfor a minute or two. 

As eggs start to set, gently lift edges with a spatula, and tiltpan so uncooked portion flows underneath. Top with cheese and bacon evenly ontoomelet.  Cover for about a minute toallow cheese to melt.

Fold over and slide onto plate. Serve immediately.

You are a sad strange little man . . . and you have my pity

When my son was a wee one he had a love affair with BuzzLightyear.  He wasn't in love with Buzzper se . . . he was Buzz.

He would sit and watch Toy Story movies over and over again .. . getting the moves down and getting his inner Buzz on.

It was really cute . . . for a while.

He was in preschool at the time and they didn’t do anythingto dissuade his alter ego.   In fact, they encouraged it . . . for a while.

It got to the point where you couldn’t tell him he wasn’this super hero . . . er . . . hero.  Hewas Buzz Lightyear . . . “I’m not Eddie,” he would say.  “I am Buzz Lightyear.  Toinfinity and beyond!.”  

Like I said, it was cute . . . for a while.

During that time period Halloween came and wonder of wonders. . . he was Buzz Lightyear.  And this timehe had the costume to prove it.

So, not only did he have the Buzz persona down pat but hehad the look. 

Months, maybe even a year or more, this went on.  By now it’s getting old.

His preschool teachers told me it had to stop because it wasdisrupting the class and riling up the other kids.  I thought to myself, “you nutters encouraged the kid and now that it becomes a problem and I’mthe one to have to put a stop to it.”

So the arguments began . . . you’d think it would be easy .. . you know how gullible kids can be. Yeah right . . . the kid inherited his mother’s and his father’s stubbornness. It wasn’t easy.

The deprogramming went something like this.  First off . . . no more Toy Story movies . .. .period.  Second . . . the costumemysteriously disappeared.  Then the sitdown conversations . .  .

Me, “You’re not Buzz Lightyear.”

Him, “I am BuzzLightyear.”

Me, “You’re not Buzz Lightyear.”

Him, “I am BuzzLightyear.”

Me, “You’re not Buzz Lightyear.”

Him, “I AM BuzzLightyear.”

You get the point.  Oneday he was Buzz and the next day he wasn’t. Personally, I don’t think I did or said anything to convince him he wasn’tweird shaped spaceman.  I think he justgrew out of it.

And, then suddenly he was Luke Skywalker.

Ah  . . . the joys ofparenthood.

Quick Fried Cabbage With Egg


1/2 Small Cabbage
1 Medium Onion
1 Tablespoon Butter
3 Slices Bacon, Crumbled
2 Eggs
2 Tablespoons
Salt, Pepper or Seasoned Salt

Finely slice the cabbage and onion. Heat the butter in a pan and fry the onion until soft. Add the cabbage.  Cover and reduce heat to low and fry for a further 10 minutes. Remove cover add bacon and fry for 3 minutes. Beat the eggs pour them over the cabbage. Stir until the eggs have set.  Stir in the cream cheese and serve.

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties

Is French Toast really and truly French?  Although France has their own version of this nom-dilly-ish-ous breakfast treat it doesn't originate there.  Prior to World War I, the dish was commonly known as German toast in America, but that the name was changed due to anti-German sentiment. 

There is a different version of “French Toast” in many cultures . . . back in medieval times, when food was often scarce; every bit of food was used including what we would typically chuck in the garbage bin without a second thought.  Old stale bread was no exception; the bread would be soaked in egg to add moisture and protein and then fried in hot fat.  Even the wealthy enjoyed the egg dipped bread . . . except they would use the most expensive breads, indulgently remove the crusts and douse the toast in honey.

In fact, recipes for "French toast" can be traced to ancient Roman times.  The original French name is pain a la Romaine', or Roman bread.

French toast is so simple and inexpensive, it's no wonder it's been around so long.  Yummers!

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Strawberry-Cream Cheese Stuffed French Toast

• One 1- To 1 1/4-Pound Loaf Of White Bread 
• 8 Ounces Cream Cheese, Softened
• 2 Tablespoon Strawberry Preserves
• 1/2 Cup Whole Milk
• 4 Large Eggs
• 1 Teaspoon Pure Vanilla Extract
• 2 Tablespoons Gran Marnier         
• Pinch Salt
• Unsalted Butter
• Real Maple Syrup, Warmed

Mash the cream cheese with the preserves.  The mixture should be thick and chunky.  You can smooth it out in a food processor, if you prefer (I did).

In a shallow dish or bowl, whisk together the milk, eggs, Gran Marnier, and vanilla.

Dunk the stuffed bread slices into the egg mixture and turn to coat evenly, until saturated but short of falling apart.

Warm 1 tablespoon butter in a large heavy skillet over medium heat. Briefly cook the French toast in batches until golden brown and lightly crisp, turning once.

Place the first slices on a plate and top with a dollop of cream cheese.  

Top with a second slice and another dollop of cream cheese.  

Garnish with a sliced strawberry and drizzle with syrup. 

In a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman

When I was a little girl I wanted to be Wonder Woman in the worstest way!  Not the DC Comics version.  I wanted to be the REAL Wonder Woman . . . you know from the TV show starring Lynda Carter (1975-1979).  Wowzers . . . she was something!  Girls wanted to be her . . . men wanted to be with her. 

In a time when equal rights for women were at the forefront . . . Wonder Woman was a feminist icon.  She personified sexual equality in a male dominated world.  She was super strong, super dynamic, super lithe and super sexy.  And she could kick some serious ass!

Wonder Woman is the symbol of patriotism . . . and, if you know me then you know why that appeals to me.  Yes, her costume incorporated aspects of the American flag . . . but that’s not all.  But she believed in truth, justice and the American way.  That’s why she hooked up with the Justice League . . . duh!

And then there was the Lasso of Truth . . . I defy any hot blooded American male to tell me he wouldn’t want to be wrangled by her.  The Lasso of Truth forces anyone it captures to obey and tell the truth.  An interested fact about The Lasso is that it was actually inspired by something most of us are familiar with . . . academically if not personally.  William Marston, the creator of the Wonder Woman character, was also a scientist who worked on the systolic blood-pressure test used to detect deception . . . the predecessor of the polygraph test.   I wonder where he got the idea for the lasso . . . huh? 

Anyhoo . . . with her gorgeous hair, cute outfit, awesome power and uber coolness . . . I wanted to be her.  And then came Underroos.  Holy cow!  Now I could BE Wonder Woman! Yup, it’s true . . . with the magic of cotton underwear I could be her.  Yes!!! Uhm . . . no.  But at least they made me look cool . . . or at the very least feel cool.  If nothing else, they were very comfy.

If you’re unfamiliar with this line of adolescent fantasy-wear  . . . Underoos is a brand of underwear that is made for children that mimicked the outfit a super hero . . . or Mickey Mouse if that’s kind of thing appeals to you.  The garments stimulated young imaginations and allowed them to, in a small way, be that super-hero . . . or mouse. 

I guess I felt kind of super wearing them.  I’m thinking that just being having the underwear and not actually being Wonder Woman was somewhat anticlimactic. 

Nannercakes - Banana Pancakes

 

1 Cup All-Purpose Flour

1 Tablespoon White Sugar

2 Teaspoons Baking Powder

1/4 Teaspoon Salt

1 Egg, Beaten

1 Cup Milk

2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil

2 Ripe Bananas, Mashed

In a mixing bowl, mix together egg, milk, vegetable oil and bananas.

Combine flour, white sugar, baking powder and salt.  Stir flour mixture into banana mixture; batter will be slightly lumpy.

Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake.

Cook until pancakes are golden brown on both sides; serve hot.