Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.

Alicia Silverstone . . . I remember when she used to be cute and perky.  Now? She’s just freaking weird.  Maybeshe was abducted by aliens . . . aliens from Ferenginar to be exact.

Wait . . . what?  Huh?Where did that come from?!

Something that I saw recently in the news about the cluelessactress.  She mouth feeds her child . . .like he’s a little baby birdie or something. Seriously!

Ferengi women traditionally softened food for members oftheir family by chewing it.  See?  I actually went somewhere with that!  How cool am I?

Pre-chewing is a common practice . . . among women incultures where they don’t have access to food processors, that is.  I’m sure even a vegan-hippy-nutter likeAlicia Silverstone has a food processor. You know what?  I bet if a motherfrom backward indigenous culture would do if she had access to a foodprocessor? I bet she’d use it!

Oh, and by the way, the name of child in question  . . . Bear Blu.  I'm sure he'll thank her for that name when he's 16.  Like I said . . . weirdo!

That is all . . . moving on . . . 

White Chicken Enchiladas

These are lickthe plate clean good

10 soft tacoshells

2 cups cooked,shredded chicken

2 cups shreddedMonterey Jack cheese

3 Tbsp. butter

3 Tbsp. flour

2 cups chickenbroth

1 cup sour cream

4 oz Chopped SunDried Tomatoes

Preheat oven to350 degrees.  Grease a 9x13 pan

Mix chicken and 1 cup cheese.  Roll up in tortillas and placein pan.  Top with sun dried tomatoes.

In a sauce pan, melt butter, stir in flour and cook 1 minute. Add broth and whisk until smooth.  Heat over medium heat until thickand bubbly.

 

Remove from heat and stir in sour cream.  Do not bring to boil, you don't want curdledsour cream.

Pour over enchiladasand top with remaining cheese.

Bake 22 min and then under high broil for 3 min to brown thecheese.

Why I Like Velveeta

Velveeta . . . you know the stuff.  It can barely be called cheese . . . and it’snot really, not even to the USFDA.  It’s considered a processed cheese food product.   I like the fact that they had to include the word 'food' in the classification.  Like there was a question about whether or not it's food . . . well, maybe there is. 

I’ll admit that I like it. Like spam . . . it has its place in my kitchen but by no means would I putit up there with my beloved super sharp cheddar or luscious creamy brie. 

I've noticed that, depending on where I shop, I may find itin the refrigerated dairy section or I may find it on a shelf somewhere else inthe store.  The question is . . . does itneed to be refrigerated?  Well, no . . . not really.  

It is shelf stable because it is so very,very ultra-super-duper highly pasteurized and it’s not truly cheese and it is vacuum sealed itactually does not need to be kept cold.  Somewould argue that you don’t even need to refrigerate it after it’s been opened .. . well, I err on the side of caution and not go that far. 

Velveeta has a longevity that rivals uranium but to keep itfresh it’s best stored in an airtight container after you’ve opened it.  Refrigerate or not . . . I’ll leave that upto you. 

For those of you cringing over the thought of consumingVelveeta . . . remember when the power went out for weeks and weeks in parts ofthe country after Hurricane Rita and the subsequent snow storm?  Well, because Velveeta has such a long shelflife it is excellent to keep on hand to go with your long or short termsurvival supplies.  It’s great forcamping, too.

Just remember that as well as Velveeta keeps it does lose some quality over time . . .yes, I know, quality is a relativeterm.  Whatever  . . . just make sure you mark the date ofyour stored Velveeta.

If you’re a fisherman . . . keep a plastic container ofVelveeta in your fishing tackle box.  Believe it or not, trout like the stuff . . . whethera week old or a year old, they don’t care.  

And if you want to give those fishies an extra special treat, stuff a pieceof garlic into the inside of the cheese ball . . . you’ll have cheesy garlicstuffed trout on your table in no time . . . well, processed cheese food product and garlic stuffed trout, anyway.

Enjoy!

Cheesy Chicken Spaghetti

2 Cups Cooked andShredded Chicken

4 Cups (8 oz. Dry)Cooked Spaghetti

8 Oz. Velveeta {OrMore}, Melted

1 Can Cream OfChicken Soup

1 Can GreenChilies {Or A Can Of Tomatoes With Green Chilies}

1/2 Tsp. GarlicPowder

Mix altogether andpour into a greased 9x13 pan. Sprinkle the top with some shredded cheddarcheese. Bake at 350 for 30 min. or until bubbly.

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him

Maybe I’m too judgmental or narrow-minded, but I think thatit’s rather unmanly for a guy to sit with his legs crossed.  I'm not talking about the perpendicular crosswith foot resting on his knee . . . but like a girl.

I’m not saying it’s effeminate,just less than masculine. 

I don’t understand how it could be comfortable for a guyanyway . . . I’m a girl and I don’tthink it’s all that comfy and I don’thave doodads, dingleberries and  . . . uh. . . stuff that could get smooshed.

So, maybe I think it’s unmanly because any man with a substantial. . . er . . . package wouldn’t beable to sit that way.

Not that I’m saying size matters.  No, I’m not saying that at all.  Just sayin’.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

The other day the building I work in was evacuated . . . nota fire drill but for a real emergency.  Youcould tell by the alarm and the guy on the intercom telling everybody to getout of the building . . . NOW.

While we were standing around out designated rally point wegot word that there was a leaking propane tank on one of our loadingdocks.  We began chatting amongstourselves while waiting for the all clear to return to the building.

We could actually smell the gas.  One of my co-workers commented that she liked the smell of gasoline. . . actually most petroleum products.  Anotherwoman commented that she kind of liked the smell of acetone.  I didn’t think they were weird because I happento like the smell of a campfire, gunpowder and Hoppes #9 (a cleaning solvent). 

I thought the answer would be something fairly simplistic .. . that the smells were associations with something good . . . a good memory; but,alas, no. Keep in mind that actually enjoying the smell of something is not thesame as having a good memory of something.

It IS a psychological reaction but not for the reasons I suspected.  Certain smells elicit a reaction in ourbrains that we experience as pleasure. Surely, the smells of glue, gasoline and tar shouldn’t make ushappy.  But, for a lot of us, they do.    

Make a note that all of the things I’ve mentioned have something in common . . . I’ll get back to that.

Taking pleasure in a smell is actually hard coded into us.  Something in your brain knows when somethingis beneficial to our survival.  It’s kindof like having an appetite for food or sex.   If you eat you survive.  If you reproduce a part of you survives . . .through your offspring. Or a phobia of heights or poisonous snakes.    If youfall off a cliff you die and if you get bitten by a poisonous snake you willmost likely die.  It’s kind of like that. . .

Look back at all the things I’ve mentioned . . . gasoline,acetone, gun powder, tar, glue  . . .yes, even my favorite Hoppes #9 . . . all of these things have one thing in common . . . they are all highlyflammable and that’s probably not  entirelycoincidental.

What do you need to survive? Food, water, shelter and warmth. What keeps you warm?  Fire.  To ensure that your food is not contaminated,you cook it . . . the same with boiling water. 

Your brain knows that these things are can potentiallycreate fire . . . and coincidentally, they can create fire quite easily.   

By directing thechemical make-ups of these substances through smell to the olfactory centers inour brain. Thus creating a sensation of pleasure through the stimulation andrelease of neurotransmitters (such as dopamine, norepinephren, and seratonin)in the same way that it would occur during sexual intercourse, eating a goodsteak, or exercise.

Experiencing pleasure in a smell  . . . even a weird one . . . is our brain’sway of telling us that something about the source is good.  It’s telling us something to help us tosurvive.

How cool is that??

See the forest for the trees

From the forest to the dinner table . . . the first thing I think of is venison, wild boar, and the like.  What I don’t want to think about is trees . . . that is, the prospect of eating them.    Chances are you do . . . eat trees . . . all the time without even knowing it.

I’ve said it . . . I’m hungry enough to eat a tree . . . but I didn’t mean it!!!   Really!

Wood pulp  . . . the stuff they use to make paper, cardboard and whatnot . . . is also used as an additive to many common processed foods.  The only thing good about that so far is that they only use virgin wood pulp in products designed for human consumption . . . that’s about as good as it gets.

Look at the ingredients on your food labels . . . look for cellulose (cellulose gum, powdered cellulose, microcrystalline cellulose, etc.).  If you find it then you’ve got tree fibers in your noms.  Don’t worry though because the FDA says it’s safe, so it must be.  Yeah . . . right. 

You’ll find it in a variety of products from cheese to ice cream to baked goods.    Cellulose is a cheap additive that adds volume, extends shelf-life and increases the bottom line. 

If you want to take a positive spin on it, cellulose is a natural fiber which is good for you right?  Because most people don’t get enough fiber in their diets, right?

Ooo, ooo, ooo . . . and  cellulose's water-absorbing properties can mimic fat.  So, you get less fat and more fiber . . . yummy, nutritious trees!

  

Parmesan Cheese (Pasteurized Part-Skim Milk, Salt, Less than 2% of Enzymes, Cheese Culture, Cellulose Powder, Potassium Sorbate.

  

Corn Bran, Whole Grain Wheat, Wheat Bran, Corn Starch, Guar Gum, Color Added, Cellulose Gum, Salt, Baking Soda, Corn Oil, Aspartame (Phenylketonurics: contains Phenylalanine)Vitamin E (Mixed Tocopherols) Added to Preserve Freshness. Vitamins and Minerals: Calcium Carbonate, Zinc and Iron (Mineral Nutrients)Vitamin C (Sodium Ascorbate)a B Vitamin (Niacinamide)Vitamin B6 (Pyridoxine Hydrochloride)Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin)Vitamin B1 (Thiamin Mononitrate)A B Vitamin (Folic Acid)Vitamin B12.

Sugar, Enriched Bleached Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Wheat Starch, Baking Powder (Baking Soda, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Monocalcium Phosphate, Dicalcium Phosphate), Contains 2% Or Less Of: Propylene Glycol Monoesters, Dextrose, Corn Starch, Salt, Artificial Flavor, Mono And Diglycerides, Cellulose, Xanthan Gum, Cellulose Gum, Polysorbate 60, Colored With Red 40 And Yellow 5, Cellulose Gum, Tbhq And Citric Acid (Antioxidants).

If God had wanted me to eat trees I would have been born a beaver . . . just sayin'.

Garlic Chicken

Warm the garlic in the olive oil to create a rich flavored oil and then coat with Parmesan and bread crumbs for a quick and tasty baked chicken.

3 Teaspoons Crushed Garlic

1/4 Cup Olive Oil

1/2 Cup Dry Bread Crumbs

1/4 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese

2 Lb Chicken Tenderloins Or 4 Skinless, Boneless Chicken Breast Halves

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

Warm the garlic and olive oil to blend the flavors. 

Add  the chicken to the pan and coat with the olive oil and garlic mixture.  

In a separate dish, combine the bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese and  then toss with the chicken in the pan.  Turn to cover the chicken in the crumbs.  Place chicken  in a shallow baking dish and sprinkle with remaining crumbs from the pan

Bake in the preheated oven for 30 to 35 minutes, until no longer pink and juices run clear.

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