Selasa, 25 Oktober 2011

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

You do it . . . I do it . . . everybody does it.  It’scompletely natural and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. 

No not that!!  For the love of snarts, get your mind out ofthe gutter.  I’m talking about sternutation.

It starts as a little tickle.  As it builds you take a deep breath . . . youclose your eyes . . . you press your tongue against the roof of your mouth . .. and then all of a sudden a burst of air erupts your nose.   Asneeze . . . it sounded kind of sexy there for a second, didn’t it.  Perv.

There is an ancient belief that sneezing is a near-deathexperience; that is why people “bless you” after your sneeze.  The blessing is supposed to prevent your soulfrom escaping your body and to deter the devil from entering in.

You can try to prevent this near death by trying to breathethrough your mouth and pinching the end of your nose.    However, if you try to suppress a sneeze, youcan rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.  Just sayin’. 

I say let ‘em fly . . . just not all over the personstanding next to you; that’s just rude. 
A sneeze travels at a speed over 100 miles per hour thefastest sneeze recorded was a whopping 136 miles per hour . . . yeah, someoneactually measured that.  Ew.

Maybe even more impressive is that a single sneeze can send100,000 germs into the air.  That’s oneheck of a lot of cooties!

It’s almost impossible to keep your eyes open whensneezing.  If you can manage to keep youreyes open by force, they can pop out . . . just kidding, that’s not true.  Your eyes willbulge out from the pressure, but they will not pop out.

It is, however, possible to fracture a rib with an especially strong sneeze . . . so be careful!  

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