Selasa, 02 Agustus 2011

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road

When you get into a vehicle with someone else driving you are literally putting your life into their hands.  Cruising around at 65 miles per hour, more or less, in a 4000 pound projectile should give you reason to pause.  

That being said, my hubby is one of the best drivers I’ve ever known.  He always looking out for the other guy in order to take whatever action is necessary to avoid a collision . . . he is aware of what’s in front of him, behind him and everywhere else around him.  And, he’s always looking at the road ahead for potential obstructions and hazards.

Let’s compare what I learned in driver’s education with some of the driving skills I’ve learned from him.

Pay Attention to Your Attitude

Drivers Ed. –
Always try to be in a good mood and be patient at the wheel and don’t become irritated at other drivers’ bad road behavior; if you are calm and relaxed you can easily concentrate on any potential danger ahead. You must learn to read the road and this will help you to drive carefully and safe.

Hubby –
He’s a better driver than anyone else on the road; everyone else is out to get him and/or piss him off.  They are the reason he is on constant alert for danger because it’s inevitable that they’re going to do something monumentally stupid.

Setting Up

Drivers Ed. –
Wear your seat belt properly, sit upright with your back against the seat, and move the seat as far back as possible from the steering wheel while still maintaining full control of the vehicle.  Have the seat adjusted so that your arms are slightly bent at the elbows when you’re holding the wheel at the ten-to-two or quarter-to-three position.

Hubby –
Leaning forward over the steering wheel is not going to help you see any better . . . those six inches aren’t going to make a wit of difference.  If the top of your head can’t be seen over the head rest chances are you can’t see over the steering wheel, so don’t drive.

Mirrors and Blind Spot

Drivers Ed. –
Drivers should check their interior and exterior mirrors at least every 6-8 seconds. The inside mirror gives you a picture of what is happening behind you. The wing mirrors provide you with the wider view. Being aware of what’s going on behind you is often considered not so important, while it is just necessary to know whether the cars behind you are too close, too fast or trying to overtake.

Hubby –
The rearview mirror is not for applying lipstick and mascara.  And, if you are behind him he can’t see you in the rearview mirror because you’re tailgating then you had better be paying attention because he’s going to shift into a lower gear and you may be wearing his big honkin’ truck as a new hood ornament. 

Basic Maintenance

Drivers Ed. –
Learn are where the oil, brake fluid, engine coolant and window washer reservoirs are and how to fill them.

Hubby –
It’s obvious you know how to fill your washer fluid because you just sprayed it all over his windshield has well your own.  Maybe you should learn to adjust the sprayer nozzles, asshat.

Road Signs, Signals and Marking

Drivers Ed. –
Know Highway Code.  Know what each road sign means and familiarize yourself with the road markings.  Know what each lane is for and how to use it.

Hubby –
Hello?  The shiny green light means go. That pedal on the right . . . that’s the gas, use it.   If you’re in the passing lane going the same speed as the travel lane you’re going too slow . . . get the hell out of the way.   That pedal on the right . . . that’s the gas, use it.    The speed limit sign . . . those numbers mean something.  Relate them to the numbers on the speedometer and you should be good to go.    Again, that pedal on the right . . . that’s the gas, use it. 

Hit the Road

Drivers Ed. –
Make sure that all the devices for communication with other road users work. Not the mobile phone but horn, brake-lights, indicators and headlight flasher. You should check their operation from time to time.

Hubby –
You don’t test your brake lights by constantly depressing it. Do you plan on turning left sometime soon or are you just going to drive around the world to the left?  I’m right in front of you . . . turn your flippin’ high beams off, I can see you!

Finally, most of the bad drivers are women drivers.  And, one of the most helpful things I learned from hubby is that if someone wants to drive faster than you then let them get in front of you . . . let them get snagged for speeding. 

My hubby is da bestest!


Garlic Roast Beef 

3 to 3 1/2 lbs of Boneless Rump Roast 
Olive oil
8 cloves of garlic
Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 375°F.

With a sharp knife make 8 small incisions around the roast. Place a sliver of garlic into each incision. Take a tablespoon or so of olive oil and spread all around the roast. Sprinkle around the roast with salt and pepper. 

Place the roast directly on an oven rack, fatty side up, with a drip pan on a rack beneath the roasting rack. This arrangement creates convection in the oven so that you do not need to turn the roast. The roast is placed fat side up so that as the fat melts it will bathe the entire roast in its juices.

Brown the roast at 375°F for half an hour. Lower the heat to 200°F. The roast should take somewhere from 2 to 3 hours additionally to cook. When the roast just starts to drip its juices and it is brown on the outside, check the temperature with a meat thermometer. Pull the roast from the oven when the inside temperature of the roast is 135° to 140°F. Let the roast rest for at least 15 minutes, tented in aluminum foil to keep warm, before carving to serve.

Tidak ada komentar:

Posting Komentar