Sometimes you have to do what you have to do

I'm a horrible person and I'm probably going to Hell but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.  


There's this person in the office where I work who apparently doesn't have enough to do. He flits from door to door and desk to desk talking to anyone who happens to make random eye contact.  Not necessarily full eye contact either . . . once could be looking in his general direction and that would be enough to invite conversation.  I'm not talking once in a while that he does this . . . but every day several times a day.




Sometimes I get tangled in his talkative web and it might not be that bad if the conversations contained even the slenderest thread of coherent of thought process.  But it's usually random weirdness that doesn't have much to do with much of anything that is relevant.


And sometimes it seems as though he's speaking some Khoisan language as he walks by and starts making a weird clicking sound with his mouth and punctuates this with knuckle tapping on the partition of my cubicle.


Today he stopped at my cubicle with a couple clicks and knocks and with a great intake of breath began babbling a stream of nonsense.  I listened politely for as long as I could tolerate it without blood leaking out of my ears or my head exploding.  


Then as if my telephone suddenly began to ring (which it didn't) I lifted one finger in a hold-on-a-sec gesture, picked up the handset of my phone and began a non-existent conversation with no one.  He walked away and instant relief ensued.


You might say to yourself . . . how would I get away with such a ruse?  The man is clueless . . . what can I say.


I'm totally going to Hell.

Breakfast Galette

Crust:

1 1/4 CupAll-Purpose Flour

1/2 TeaspoonKosher Salt

1 Stick UnsaltedButter, Cubed and Cold

1/4 Cup Water, IceCold

Toppings:

3 TablespoonsRicotta Cheese

1/4 CupMozzarella, Shredded

2 Slices Bacon,Cooked and Cubed

1 Slice Ham, Cubed

3 Large Egg Yolks

Salt And Pepper

In a medium bowl,mix together all-purpose flour and salt. Place flour and unsalted butter infreezer for 5 minutes to chill.

Combine flourmixture and butter. Mix until you’re left with what resembles coarse meal, withpea size pieces of butter. Add ice water 1 Tbsp at a time, mixing until it justbegins to clump together. If you pinch some of the crumbly dough and it holdstogether, it’s ready. If the dough doesn’t hold together, add a little morewater and mix again.

Remove dough frombowl and place in a mound on a clean surface. Gently shape into a discs, beingsure to not over-knead. Wrap the disc in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least1 hour, and up to 2 days.

Preheat oven to375 degrees. On a floured surface, roll dough to a 10-inch circle with a1/4-inch thickness. It’s okay if the edges are shaggy and it’s not a perfectcircle. Transfer to a parchment-lined baking sheet.

Scoop ricotta ontothe center of the dough, spreading out to make a large circle, stopping 1-inchfrom the edge of the dough. Sprinkle on grated mozzarella cheese. Fold edges ofdough over the cheese. Transfer baking sheet to the refrigerator for 15minutes.

Whisk togetheryolk and water. Brush dough with the egg wash. Bake until crust is lightlygolden brown, 25-30 minutes. Take galette out of the oven and gently placeyolks atop cheese. Arrange bacon bits and ham to your liking and place back inoven for 2-3 minutes, or until yolks set.

Garnish with saltand pepper.

The ultimate reason is "because."

I know I'm kinda of weird, but I think those stick family stickers that people are putting on the backs of their cars are really kind of cute.  Of course, I don't have any on my car . . . cuz, I don't want people to think I'm weird.  It's quite a paradox.



They're kind of fun . . . they come in all kinds of varieties that represent the families personalities . . . I especially like the zombie ones . . . too funny!


Braaaainnzzzzzz!




Of course, another good one is the divorced family . . . 






And the crazy cat lady one is a hoot, as well.










Then there's the one for people who don't give a sh!t about your family . . . stick figure or otherwise.


Yeah, I know, I got nothin' . . . not even a stick figure family to stick on my car . . . but hey, my blog can't be awesome every day!  

Bacon and Cheese Omelet

3 Slices Bacon, Cooked

3 Large Eggs,Lightly Beaten

1/4 Teaspoon Salt

1/4 TeaspoonGround Black Pepper

1 TablespoonButter

1/2 SlicesAmerican Cheese

In a small bowl,combine eggs, salt, and pepper; beat with fork. In a 10 inch nonstick skillet,melt butter over medium heat, rotating pan to coat bottom. Add egg mixture. Coverfor a minute or two. 

As eggs start to set, gently lift edges with a spatula, and tiltpan so uncooked portion flows underneath. Top with cheese and bacon evenly ontoomelet.  Cover for about a minute toallow cheese to melt.

Fold over and slide onto plate. Serve immediately.

You are a sad strange little man . . . and you have my pity

When my son was a wee one he had a love affair with BuzzLightyear.  He wasn't in love with Buzzper se . . . he was Buzz.

He would sit and watch Toy Story movies over and over again .. . getting the moves down and getting his inner Buzz on.

It was really cute . . . for a while.

He was in preschool at the time and they didn’t do anythingto dissuade his alter ego.   In fact, they encouraged it . . . for a while.

It got to the point where you couldn’t tell him he wasn’this super hero . . . er . . . hero.  Hewas Buzz Lightyear . . . “I’m not Eddie,” he would say.  “I am Buzz Lightyear.  Toinfinity and beyond!.”  

Like I said, it was cute . . . for a while.

During that time period Halloween came and wonder of wonders. . . he was Buzz Lightyear.  And this timehe had the costume to prove it.

So, not only did he have the Buzz persona down pat but hehad the look. 

Months, maybe even a year or more, this went on.  By now it’s getting old.

His preschool teachers told me it had to stop because it wasdisrupting the class and riling up the other kids.  I thought to myself, “you nutters encouraged the kid and now that it becomes a problem and I’mthe one to have to put a stop to it.”

So the arguments began . . . you’d think it would be easy .. . you know how gullible kids can be. Yeah right . . . the kid inherited his mother’s and his father’s stubbornness. It wasn’t easy.

The deprogramming went something like this.  First off . . . no more Toy Story movies . .. .period.  Second . . . the costumemysteriously disappeared.  Then the sitdown conversations . .  .

Me, “You’re not Buzz Lightyear.”

Him, “I am BuzzLightyear.”

Me, “You’re not Buzz Lightyear.”

Him, “I am BuzzLightyear.”

Me, “You’re not Buzz Lightyear.”

Him, “I AM BuzzLightyear.”

You get the point.  Oneday he was Buzz and the next day he wasn’t. Personally, I don’t think I did or said anything to convince him he wasn’tweird shaped spaceman.  I think he justgrew out of it.

And, then suddenly he was Luke Skywalker.

Ah  . . . the joys ofparenthood.

Quick Fried Cabbage With Egg


1/2 Small Cabbage
1 Medium Onion
1 Tablespoon Butter
3 Slices Bacon, Crumbled
2 Eggs
2 Tablespoons
Salt, Pepper or Seasoned Salt

Finely slice the cabbage and onion. Heat the butter in a pan and fry the onion until soft. Add the cabbage.  Cover and reduce heat to low and fry for a further 10 minutes. Remove cover add bacon and fry for 3 minutes. Beat the eggs pour them over the cabbage. Stir until the eggs have set.  Stir in the cream cheese and serve.

After all, a girl is... well, a girl. It's nice to be told you're successful at it.

Hubby and I went to a social gathering this weekend for bloggers in my region.  Most of them are men, most them blog about guns, politics and the like.





I'm not opposed to any of those things . . . I just choose not to blog about them.  During the course of dinner, beer and conversation, our "social director" commented that I have a "chick" blog.  Wha . . . what?? Me?  A girlie blog?



Sure, I'm a girl  . . . but still . . . 

I hadn't ever considered it.  But now that he mentioned it, it's kind of bothering me.  I ain't no girlie-girl.  I didn't think I was writing about womanly thingie-doodles or even feminine what-cha-ma-call-its.


What's my blog about?  Stuff . . . by me . . . a chick.  Sure, I almost always include a recipe or some sort of crafty thing or something, but I just write about stuff.  I don't consider it girl stuff . . . I kind of think it's gender neutral.  If I wanted to write about girl stuff I'd be writing about stuff like this or even this (proceed to links if you're man enough).


Why is it bothering me?  I don't know.  I just . . . don't . . .  know.


Chocolate will make me feel better!


That is all.

Chocolate Mousse

4 1/2 Ounces Bittersweet Chocolate, Finely Chopped

2 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter, Diced

2 Tablespoons Espresso or Very Strong Coffee 

1 Cup Cold Heavy Cream

3 Large Eggs, Separated

1 Tablespoon Sugar

Whip the cream to soft peaks, then refrigerate.

Combine the chocolate, butter, and espresso in the top of adouble boiler over hot, but not simmering, water, stirring frequently untilsmooth. Remove from the heat and let cool until the chocolate is just slightlywarmer than body temperature. To test, dab some chocolate on your bottom lip.It should feel warm. If it is too cool, the mixture will seize when the otheringredients are added.

Once the melted chocolate has cooled slightly, whip the eggwhites in a medium bowl until they are foamy and beginning to hold a shape.Sprinkle in the sugar and beat until soft peaks form.

When the chocolate has reached the proper temperature, stirin the yolks. Gently stir in about one-third of the whipped cream. Fold in halfthe whites just until incorporated, then fold in the remaining whites, andfinally the remaining whipped cream.

Spoon or pipe the mousse into a serving bowl or individualdishes. If you wish, layer in fresh raspberries and whipped cream. Refrigeratefor at least 8 hours. (The mousse can be refrigerated for up to a day.)

Serves 5-8, depending on the size of the servings.

After all, a girl is... well, a girl. It's nice to be told you're successful at it.


Rita Hayworth

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Generally speaking, I’m level headed and have a fair share of common sense. However, there have been times in my life when I’ve moments of seriously impaired judgment . . . one of those was on October 5, 1990 . . . there was a voice in my head yelling . . . nay screaming . . . run away, run away . . . why oh why didn’t I listen. . .


Rule #1 . . . always listen to your intuition.

There was a time way before that when I was merely a child . . . a child apparently lacking in rational thought . . . that did something monumentally brainless.


Way back when I was a kid, I lived on top of mountain in the middle of East Bumblef^ck. There wasn’t a great selection of playmates. So, one day I wandered down the road to play with some boys who weren’t the best kids on the mountaintop but it was someone to play with. They were chucking knives at a tree. Okay, that could maybe be fun . . . uh, huh, until one of the boys threw a knife at me and . . . wait, here’s where it gets good . . . I tried to catch it. yeah, not one of my brighter moments but definitely one of my bloodier ones . . . 

I ran all the way home screaming with blood dripping down my arm from the gaping wound in my finger. I still bear the scar of my dim-witted-ness.


Rule #2 . . . don’t be stupid.


So, you think I’d learn from my lesson and not play with sharp objects. Mmm, you’d think.

Fast forward a few years when I was in junior high school. I had bought a novelty switchblade comb. No sooner had I gotten it home that I replace the comb with a long box cutter razor blade. Why? I don’t know . . . kids do stupid stuff . . . its some sort of imperative.

So, I threw my brandy-spankin’ new switchblade in my book bag and off to school I went. I was in study hall and reached into my bag for something or other and came out with a bloody finger with a flap of skin hanging off . . . at some point the blade had popped open. Of course, I couldn’t say anything to the teacher . . . could you imagine being caught at school with a switchblade . . . even way back then?? Yeah, not too bright. Somehow, I managed to get a hall pass to the bathroom without raising suspicion and got myself cleaned up.


Rule #3 . . . see Rule #2

Flash forward 10 years . . . I’m a newlywed (see the first paragraph) and I’m diligently doing my wifely chores by washing dishes. All the pans and plates are drying in the rack . . . that’s right, no dishwasher . . . unless you count me. I started to was the glasses . . . 

I must have been fairly aggressive about it because I was shoving . . . er . . . gently pressing the sponge around the inside of the glass and it shattered. A decent size chunk of glass impaled my hand. It didn’t look to bad, it wasn’t bleeding . . . that is until I removed said shard of glass. Yeah . . . then it bled. I had a gaping maw of a wound . . . not pretty. A few stitches fixed me up all purdy like, but I still have the reminder on my hand to NOT be so forceful while cleaning glasses.


Rule #4 . . . glass IS fragile. (Fragile (fra•jee•lee) is Italian for breakable)

Flash forward another ten years . . . I’m newly divorced (see the first paragraph) and fixing up my new home. I painted, replaced the carpeting and changed some light fixtures. I also decided to change doorknobs and strike plates on all the doors. I had to carve out some of the door and doorframes to get the hardware to fit properly. Can you see where I’m going with this? Yeah, as I’m shaving off some excess wood, my tool slips and I almost shaved off half my finger . . .


Rule #5 . . . tools that shave things are sharp!


Okay, so I’ve flash forwarded almost another ten years . . . I’m thinking I should be avoiding sharp objects.  I should also follow rule #2 more often.


Just sayin’.

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Zucchini Breakfast Casserole


2 Cups Cooked Meat, diced, I used leftover roast beef
1 Zucchini, peeled using your Julienne Peeler
1 Red Onion, Diced
4 Cloves of Garlic, minced
1 Cup of Sharp Cheddar Cheese
8 Eggs
2 Tbsp Basil
Salt and Pepper to Taste
4-6 Pieces of Bacon

Preheat oven to 350 Degrees Fahrenheit


Sauté onions and garlic until the onions start to caramelize and then turn off the heat.

In the mixing bowl, combine eggs, cheese, cooked meat, shredded zucchini, basil, and salt and pepper and mix well.  Then add the sautéed onions and garlic and mix well.

Pour your mixture into a greased 9x13 baking dish. Baking for 30 minutes or until cooked through.


While the casserole is baking, cook the bacon until crispy.

Cut casserole and serve with a slice of bacon on top. I topped that with hot sauce . . . because everything is better with hot sauce.


Enjoy

Do you know the muffin man?

Do you know the muffin man?

The muffin man the muffin man.

Do you know the muffin man?

That lives in Drury Lane?

Yes I know the muffin man

The muffin man the muffin man

Yes I know the muffin man that lives in Drury lane

Victorian households had many of their fresh foods delivered; muffins would be delivered door-to-door by a muffin man.    Back in those days muffins were what we call English Muffins today, a bread made of yeasted dough and baked on a hot griddle . . . not the sweet, cakey variety we Americans usually associate with the word.

Interestingly, Drury Lane is an actual street in London that is, in fact, known for its muffins. 

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Brie, Swiss and Bacon Quiche

1 Package Deep Dish Pie Crust
4 Ounces, Brie Cheese
4 Ounces, Swiss Cheese, Diced
10 Slices Bacon, Cooked Crisp, Drained, Crumbled
6 Whole Large Eggs
½ Cups Whipping Cream
½ Cups Sour Cream
1 Teaspoon Worcestershire Sauce
1 Dash Each Nutmeg, Salt, Pepper




Crumble cheeses in the bottom of the pie.

Spread crumbled bacon on top.  Mix all remaining ingredients thoroughly and pour into the pie pan.

Bake in a preheated 375 degree F oven for about 45 minutes, until a pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool slightly before serving.  The left overs are good served cold, as well.