Sabtu, 12 November 2011

She’s sick as a cushion, she wants nothing but stuffing

It’s all a matter of perception and personal physicalendurance . . . typically the difference is as basic as girl vs. boy . . . I’mtalking about not feeling well.  Where a womanwill be feeling a little peaked and under the weather, a man will be non-functionaland sick as a dog.

‘Sick as a dog’ . . . an interesting phrase.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say “I’mas sick as a goldfish”.  Of course, I’venever seen a sick goldfish before . . . they’re usually either alive or dead .. . I guess if someone was as sick as a goldfish they’d be in a dire conditionindeed!

Anyhoo . . . the phrase originates across the pond in merryol’ Englandwhere being sick isn’t merely having a sniffle or the flu.  Being sick in Britain usually means barfing.

What animals have you ever seen puking?  Cats and dogs mostly.  Horses can’t vomit, by the way . . . and cowsjust do it in their mouth and keep on chewing.   

Cats usually just spew up furballs so that’s not reallybeing sick . . . it’s just regurgitating their own fluff.  Now when dogs retch it’s usually because they’vebeen into something they shouldn’t have been . . . cat biscuits from thelitterbox and putrefying road kill come immediately to mind.  And when dogs blow chunks it’s usually quitedramatic.

To fully appreciate the original sense of "sick as adog," picture this . . . while basking in the after glow of a lovely mealand enjoying a delightful glass of wine in front of a romantic fire with abeautiful woman (or man or whatever you prefer) when Max lurches into the roomafter consuming a banquet from the neighbor’s garbage can and displays hisgastronomical discomfort all over the floor at your feet.  Aaah . . . what a lovely portrait I paint. 

So, if you’re sick as a dog it’s supposed to mean that you’reill enough to be up-chucking a lung . . . at least if you’re a girl.

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